Wednesday, 1 July 2015

An Engineer's Romance

During the systolic ventricular contractions of my heart, the Tricuspid and the Mitral valves close only with the hope that when they open, the heart would no longer be under the control of my Medulla. During the diastole, the atria relax with an optimism that in exchange of the loss, my Medulla gets another pump to handle.

When I see you, the blood pressure in my heart mounts translating into higher velocity in accordance with the Bernoulli’s principle thus surpassing the Reynolds number for blood, leading to turbulences in my heart. This leads to the increase in the stress in the fluid thereby attempting to simulate by Computational Fluid Dynamics methods the only unsolved problem of classical physics and mathematics- the Navier-Stokes equation.

If you feel my heart is in dire straits and needs rehabilitation, my brain is much worse. The sensory neurons are longing to carry the message from you while the motor neurons want to convert it into actions pertaining to you. The afferent neurons search for the smell of your hair, your body, your perfume!

Most of my memory has been converted to the hardwired Read Only Memory (ROM) giving me no choice of changing its contents. The small Random Access Memory (RAM) which I have been spared with, keeps randomly drifting on to you. The Cache in my memory even though n way set associative for the most part of the secondary memory is directly mapped to the addresses in the secondary memory in which the data related to you is stored.

The deeply pipelined multiple execution units Superscalar processor of mine gives immense priority to the sub-instructions stemming from the larger instructions pertaining to you in the Reservation Stations. Such a lopsided Tomasulo Algorithm, even though not optimum is my pleasure. The Graphics Processor, by now, has developed a special sub routine to process your images in my memory.

In the healthcare sector of the stock market, I know your price is really high and my equity is limited but I am extremely undervalued hence I believe it’s not a bad deal. Also this time you have the 'Call option' which is really advantageous to you. I understand there are people with more prepaid expenses, inventories, marketable securities who can look good on paper but I have ample amounts of intangible assets like brand, goodwill and trademarks!!

If you are rejecting this proposal, you are bound to be tried under Indian Penal Code 378 on stealing organs (my heart) and paralyzing my brain and sentenced to life imprisonment. Though it’s a bailable offense you have committed and the bail is lifetime imprisonment with me!

The Ballad of an Apple Farmer


The farmer occasionally started touring the agri ministry,
To acquire its much sought prestiged approval,
He wanted to plant a rewarding perennial tree
Which would bestow upon the world its angelic miracle

The farmer scrutinously selected an exquisite apple seed
It belonged to the esteemed Cambridge University's breed
But before it would bear fragnant flowers and fruits
With certainty he will have to adroitly nurture the roots.

The farmer used all his acute wit and might
His holy grail was that the tree reached a great height
He fostered it dexterously putting in all his heart and soul
And soon a ripe abundant blossom the tree would behold

The tree wont grow up to become a mammoth redwood
Where a car can be smoothly parked inside its trunk
But sitting engrossed under the apple tree's shady hood
People might stumble across another Sir Isaac Newton

The ministry presumed the plains are extremely hot and humid
Better suited for peach ensuing a bounteous yield
Apple they opined should be on cold, high mountains
Where their greatest potential glory they will earn

Thus the farmer reluctantly opted to give up on apple
And resolved that a better future he would rather grapple
For he was really practical when it was a question of his career
Though utterly emotional to cross the impregnable apple barrier

The farmer raised high a sharply honed axe to cut
But could not bear to see his beloved tree get hurt
Eventually he made up his mind to let it be this way
Better with time their abiding affection wilts away!

For survival he will plant some fine saccharine peach
But his precious apples were still really difficult to ditch
The world shall cognize him as an affluent peach gardener
But at his core will always be an ardent apple farmer

A Scientist's Romance!


He zeroed down to her eyes. She used to lower her line of sight every few moments. His coherent, monochromatic gaze was more penetrating than the most powerful laser. She also could sense an optical resonant cavity of high Quality factor and low attenuation being set up with her vitreous humor providing a great refractive index and the sclera and retina acting as spherical cavity walls.

The eyes which were confined to operate as input devices under normal circumstances were now acting as i/o devices, perfectly depicting her mental images. All the algorithms studied in image processing, all the devices in optoelectronics and optical communication systems were inferior to Her  Highness's.

He was immaculate in the understanding of electrons, both in free space and solid state and due to the newly found great pedagogue, was perfecting photons. In the dark hyperbolic iris of hers, he could see his own reflection- starkingly different from the Euclidean image he was normally used to seeing in the plane mirror.  He was learning basic lessons in Riemannian geometry in the most romantic possible way. Did the most amazing mathematical theory- a prerequisite for the General Relativity originate in a similar way by Dr. Bernhard Riemann looking into his sweetheart's eyes? Anyways, his thoughts moved on. He could go a step ahead than Einstein's conjectured Relativity for laymen. The beautifully curved space-time fabric of her eyes had high enough gravity to slow down time considerably. There couldn't be any simpler way of putting forward General Relativity.

Also the situation violated Quantum Mechanical principles- there seemed no uncertainty whatsoever in their future- at least he thought so. But unfortunately, he didnt have the power over nature. God, whom he tried to understand based on the principles of maths and physics throughout his life devoid him of his most priced possession, a queen of hearts which he had long sought after!

The phase difference between them kept accumulating with time and became pi/2. He wished that he could have studied Phase Locked Loop a bit earlier so as to lock his phase to hers. It would have been certainly much easier and convenient  rather than attenuating her completely out of his life!
Unfortunately, he was left alone, without any prior warning and bereft of any further chances to normalize things!